Tuesday, April 20, 2010

27 Is The New 76!

I find it highly entertaining when all day I sit at my desk, manipulating excel to do all my evil whims, thinking of great things to write about and when I get to my laptop to write…. Nothing! It’s a tragedy to be sure. I’m half paying attention to ‘Lost’ in the other room that has been turned WAY past normal hearing mode. I think at that point only dogs and really old people can hear it! That’s one of the many interesting/weird/fun things about living with people over the age of 70 when you’re still in your 20’s, albeit late 20’s but my 20 none the less.

It’s interesting how living with old people can transform your habits into their habits. Like listening to the TV extremely loud, or going to bed before 10, and sadly getting mad at people who refuse to rake the leaves off their lawns. What happened to me? Seriously, there was a car parked outside my house for more that 10 minutes with the lights on and I was half way ready to call the cops before they drove off… those darn ruffians! Parked outside my house with their lights on! Stay a minute longer and I’ll turn the hose on you and shake my fist at you!!

I’m 27 at present, but my life style might suggest that I’m in my late 70’s. I wear ubber comfy clothes, (much to the chagrin of my place of employment, they’d prefer if I looked like a Barbie Doll everyday) and half the time I don’t even put on makeup or my contacts. I wear my Converse everywhere and when I drink my Dr. Pepper, it makes my stomach hurt! (This is ridiculous; I love the stuff and drink it religiously) Yesterday I dumped out half a can because the ‘bubblies’ where upsetting my stomach.

Seriously, what the hell happened to me? I have no idea when this transformation took place. There I was living a fun and gallant life, looking cute, hanging out and having fun when out of nowhere I lose the ability to stay up past midnight, I start getting back aches from sleeping on couches, and indigestion from eating fast food?! I got into my car on my way home from work today, and was severely pissed because I had missed the instrumental theme to Star Wars on the classical station… and for everything holy, when did I have AM radio pre-sets??? This is not OK! Something must be done! If I find myself purchasing ‘sensible heels’, then I’m going to need someone to take me out back and just shoot me and put me out of my misery!!

It’s been a downward slope, but luckily the other day a Lexus pulled up next to me at a stop sign and revved his engine. I looked at him with a ‘oh, that’s cute that you think your Lexus can beat my Mini’ look and waited for the light to turn green. Right then and there, I showed that little teenage bastard how to properly drive a fast car, and smoked him off the starting line. Keeping my momentum I sped right past him leaving him in a cloud of dust! Yeah, it was pretty awesome. He pulled up next to me at the next light and I merely looked at him and tipped my invisible hat toward him while bumpin' Mozart in my ride… there’s hope for me yet.

1 comment:

  1. Wait, where do you work? Tell me that is a place you work at and are not living in a retirement facility?!
    I am a few years older than you and I do some of that...wow I am an old lady in some ways, but in others I am a kid. Hey my standard outfit is tees, jeans and my Vans. If I am feeling dressier, I may add a cardigan, a thin scarf and of course I always wear at least one necklace. But I have ARTHRITIS! I have since I was like 18, I think from drawing my whole life, but it doesn't matter! And I wear shoe inserts because my feet hurt! Oh the travesties!